Disclosure Script Builder
Build the sentences for telling someone you have HSV — by stage of the relationship, how you want to say it, and what to do with the reply.
Most advice about telling a partner you have HSV stops at the opening line. The opening line is the easy part. What people report getting stuck on is the thirty seconds afterwards, when the other person says something unexpected and there is no script left.
This builds both halves: an opening that fits your situation, and the branches for what comes back.
How it works
You choose three things:
- When — before a first date, before things get physical, or already together
- How — in person, on a call, or in writing
- Tone — matter-of-fact, warm, or brief
You get an opening you can edit, plus the four replies people most often hear, with a way to answer each one. Nothing is stored, nothing is sent, and you can copy any of it without an account.
What this does not do
This is not medical advice, and we are not clinicians. The wording here is about how to say something, not about what is true of your health. For anything about transmission, testing, or treatment, consult a doctor or a sexual health clinic — and for the clinical background, the CDC's herpes fact sheet and the American Sexual Health Association are the places to start.
It does not tell you whether you are legally required to disclose. Those rules vary by where you live, and getting that wrong matters too much for a generator to guess at.
It also does not tell you it will go well. What it can do is mean you are not assembling the words while your heart is pounding.
A note on the words themselves
Two things show up repeatedly in what people say worked:
Say it as information, not as a confession. The framing you use is the framing the other person is likely to adopt. An apology invites reassurance-seeking; a fact invites a question.
Decide in advance what you will do if they need time. Most people who react badly at first are reacting to surprise rather than to you. Knowing your own answer to "can I think about it" ahead of time keeps the pause from feeling like a verdict.
Your answers stay in this browser. Nothing you type is sent to us or stored on a server.
Your opening
Before this goes further, there is something I want you to know. I have HSV. I found out a while ago, I know how it is managed, and I am glad to talk through anything you want to ask. I wanted to say it before anything physical, so you can decide with the information in front of you.
If they say…
"Am I at risk?"
The honest answer is that I am not the right person to quantify that, and neither is anything you read online. What I can tell you is what I do to manage it, and a sexual-health clinic can walk us both through the rest. I am happy to go together.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
That is fair. I was working out when the right moment was, and there is no good version of this conversation. I am telling you now because I did not want you to find out any other way.
"I need some time to think."
Take it. I would rather you think about it than say something now that you are not sure you mean. I am around when you want to talk.
Silence, or a change of subject.
You do not have to respond right now. I have said the thing I needed to say, and we can pick it up whenever you want.
These are wordings, not legal guidance. Disclosure requirements differ by jurisdiction, and questions about transmission risk belong with a clinician.